Agent 007, James Bond, has recently resurfaced again in Operation Skyfall. As a surgical specialist, I have examined Mr. Bond, and have compiled the following report and made the appropriate recommendations for his overall reconstructive and aesthetic needs!
Quantum of Solace
After Action Report - For Your Eyes Only
Facial Lacerations, Tarmac Action - Miami International Airport, USA
Mr. Bond sustained multiple facial lacerations whilst in action in Miami, Florida, USA, tracking down the accomplices of Monsieur Le Chiffre, and fortunately they were superficial abrasions and lacerations. He appears to have not sustained any permanent scars from this mishap.
Left Forearm, GPS Chip - Ocean Club, Bahamas
After Miami, Mr. Bond had a GPS chip inserted into his forearm while in a conference with M. This appears to have left no trace of long term scar formation as well.
V-Tach/Ventricular Tachycardia, induced by digitalis/Digoxin in the drugged Martini - Casino Royale, Montenegro
Not really a plastic surgery injury, but cardiac arrhythmias tend not to be good for overall aesthestic appearance.
Perineal and Scrotal Swelling, Torture Scene with LeChiffre, Montenegro
Although not seen in surveillance video after this incident, Mr. Bond most likely required weeks of bedrest, scrotal and perineal elevation, and ice therapy to reduce the swelling and ecchymosis sustained from such a violent attack. Interestingly, this type of swelling in the pelvic areas can occasionally occur after abdominal liposuction, a tummy tuck/ abdominoplasty, or other similar plastic surgery procedures just above the pelvic region.
Based on future operations, it appears that Mr. Bond has not sustained any long term difficulties with his genitalia in his sex life, and has a full recovery.
Quantum of Solace
Facial Lacerations, Boat Chase Scene - Haiti
Facial Abrasions, after DC-3 Departure - Bolivia
Facial Lacerations and Abrasions, Fire - Atacama Desert, Bolivia
Interestingly, Operation “Quantum of Solace” resulted in multiple facial lacerations, abrasions, and swelling, but no long term permanent plastic surgery issues. All of the facial scars and abrasions from the previous operation, Casino Royale, appear to be non- permanent in nature. Also, Mr. Bond’s interactions with Ms. Strawberry Fields seem to imply that the perineal and scrotal torture has not led to any permanent problems with function.
I have recommended that Mr. Bond use more sunscreen in sunny Bolivia, but I’m not certain if he had time to apply it properly. Generally, I recommend SPF 30, applied liberally to the face, and replenished every 2-3 hours.
Right Chest Scar, Hypertrophic, with Residual Foreign Body - Istanbul, Turkey
The biggest scar so far in these 3 operations, Mr. Bond’s right hypertrophic scar is a result of a sniper bullet that did not kill him or pierce his right lung, but rather, glanced off his rib cage. He is fortunate to have survived such an attempt on his life. A thickened, hypertrophic scar with residual foreign body from the bullet was later retrieved by Mr. Bong.
I would recommend silicone gel bandages and hydrocortisone cream within 12 months of his injury, applied daily. I believe that he would benefit more from a cortisone injection, as opposed to just topical hydrocortisone cream use. However, Mr. Bond appeared to be busy, and went to Macau quite suddenly.
Superficial Facial Lacerations, Straight Razor Shaving - Macau
Let’s face it - Ms. Moneypenny should stick to witty repartee and banter, and avoid straight razor shaves of “00” agents to avoid lacerations and razor burn.
Aging - Botox, Sunscreen - London and Skyfall, Scotland
It has been 4 years since Mr. Bond’s last major action, and the sign of aging on his face are beginning to show. With the continued stress and action that Mr. Bond volunteers for, he continues to age from sun exposure and the psychological stress from his engagements. I would strongly urge him to start use of sunscreen, prescription grade skin care, and possibly even facial peels or laser resurfacing to reverse the signs of aging.
Another option for Mr. Bond would be some Botox, or as the Americans say, “Bro-tox”. This would eliminate some of 007’s deeper wrinkles between his eyebrows, in his forehead, and in his crows’ feet areas. Some type of dermal filler for the deep nasolabial folds and marionette lines would also be warranted.
The downfall of these treatments is that they require routine maintenance, perhaps every 3-12 months. Fat grafting to the deeper wrinkles would be a more permanent solution and would require little to no maintenance. However, based on his appearance in light blue La Perla swimming trunks in Casino Royale, Mr. Bond may have too little body fat for fat grafting to be a viable option!